Day 83

Dear diary

Forget all the happiness talk I did the last days as today I am missing Niklas so much that even being with my mom all afternoon has not made my mood better. We even had Sushi from my favourite sushi place and I am still seating here crying because he has not call for 4 days. What the beep is wrong with my body. Guess I will start counting down to his home instead of our wedding. It is already late now and I do not know if I want to sleep or keep writing this dairy. I really hope that I can keep this one a secret for the world as I do not want to share so many details about my life. I want to remove all the bad things happening and only keep the good thing. What do you think, my dear almost 3 month old diary? I have no clue about why people even write this thing in the first place. Anyway you can sleep outside tonight will you are thinking about my question.

Good night diary.

Day 79

Dear diary

Thank you dear god, I think you heard my prayer doing church today as Niklas called and without going into details he talked about training more than just saying it is hard like before. He says he has not been showering for days while the general is talking about giving him, his own group of men to lead as the general feels like he can lead them. I agree with the general as I believe that too. I can feel it while he was home and the way he asked me to marry him was not just a question but an order between the kind words. I felt my heart was his so I did not care about the order in his words and I still do not. Anyway I asked him if he was going flying in stupid planes and without a single second as break he replied no because he wanted to lead the group of men instead, my mind is now more at easy so even we are not together now then I do not mind he is in the army anymore. Not sure if it is the wine or me who is writing this crap, I am sure I will be more pissed once he has not called me for a week again or something like that. Anyway the comet the scientist talked about is really getting big on the sky and I am glad to know that it is not going to hit us or I would be demanding Niklas home this instant so we could spend the last days and hours together. Another Monday is about to start so I guess I need to sleep now.

Good night diary.

Day 73

Dear diary

I miss Niklas a lot now but I guess I just have to work hard just like every other wife who has a husband in the military. I love Niklas a lot and I really hope he knows that as even I know he just training then I am worried like those wife’s who has husbands who fly for the airforce. I want to stop worrying about him but it is hard when you do not know anything about his training. He did talk about some plane when the f-16 flew over our place some time ago and he have not mentioned anything about not flying so maybe he is flying without telling me. Anyway I need to work like I normally do as those kids are not stupid and if I keep acting strange to them they will start talking about me to the other teachers and we cannot have that. Tomorrow I will be normal again and work hard being the best teacher there is for those kids. I love my job, my husband, my country so please god, do not change my life right now other than bringing home Niklas soon.

Good night diary.

Day 71

Dear diary

5th day and life is turned upside down as finally has Niklas called me again, he did not have much time but he told me that he loves me and that the training is harder than expected. I think he told me to make me laugh off him and the crazy generals plans. I missed him taking half of the bed so what can I say, I think it worked. I laughed like a maniac but he knows I do that so he was not surprise. I also miss being able to talk to him doing dinner, speaking of dinner I have still not learned to make dinner for one instead of two, guess learning habits is easy but returning to the old ones is harder. I thought it was the other way around. I called my mother right after we finished talking so now my mother is coming over for coffee tomorrow. I have been so nervous about Niklas and his training that I have been focused on work and tv. It is going to be nice talking to her tomorrow. It is only 9pm now but my eyes are heavy after days without the best sleep.

Good night diary.

Day 67

Dear diary

Sorry I have been so focused on Niklas going to the army for 6 months training and all the problems it has created. Well yesterday Niklas left as planned and now I am alone in the apartment, good thing I still have my mother I can is it from time to time. I do not know how to feel anymore as things quickly changes before we know it and I guess I need to learn that the army is Niklas work while I am working in the kindergarten. We are very different but still so good together which was why I feel in love with him 5 years ago in college. I was the nerdy girl and he was one of the lower footballer, he did not always play the matches but he was good enough for the team. I still remember the day we kissed the first time under the stadium seats. At that moment I knew that I wanted to spend my life with him. We missed prom as he was suddenly drafted to the army after his college years but I still knew that we was going to be together so even I was alone between the other students and people who was supposed to be my friends I did not care. He started earning money as part of the military job he got and I started to work at a kindergarten because it would make it easier for us to meet at times. It was a good time back then and now I just have 10 months left before I will get married with him so cannot wait to live with him forever and nothing can take him away from me. My eyes want to cry now so guess I need to sleep so I can get up for work tomorrow as it is already past midnight. He promised he would call me when he got the chance.

Good night diary.

Day 61

Dear diary

Niklas and I is better again but today Niklas got a call and even he did not want to go the general told him that he need to start his training next Monday. I am still a bit annoyed about the training but it sounds like the general has decide and not Niklas. I do not want him out of our home before we are friends again and I just realised that I was wrong in our argument as I thought that Niklas just used the general as an excuse to leave for training when he knew how much I hate the military but it was really his general who has decide to train them all. I wonder why they cannot come home doing the period. Anyway I will have some fun with Niklas now instead of being angry with him so no more diary today.

Good night diary.

Day 59

Dear diary

Niklas and I have now live together for almost 2 months and have been playing to get married in the same amount. Today we had our second argument, I am not angry at him but I am angry at the general and the rest of the goddam army. Sorry for my choice of words. Niklas told me, that the general has said that all military people has to go to the camp for 6 months training and he will maybe not get permission to come home doing that period. I am so annoyed that my mind is going crazy. After the 6 months there is around 4 months left to our weeding and we need to get all the things ready. I know 4 months is a long time but still what if he get hurt doing training so we have to go to hospital and stay there for longer periods. I know we have only planned the day but the church is very busy doing the time of the year so I am worried I cannot get a new date. I told him I wanted him here and then he can always go on training when he is back from our honey moon. We became so mad at each other that I am sleeping alone while he is out with some of his friends. I am sorry for making a mess Niklas, I just want you whole and alive for our wedding day. Anyway will try to sleep now and guess this is one of the reasons Monday is a bad day.

Good night diary.

Day 53

Dear diary

Today when I was out shopping I noticed a military truck appear and to jumped the soldiers. Each of them had a piece of paper in their hands and they ran to the nearest post and hang up the paper before running back to the truck again. I did not get to see if Niklas was part of the group so I asked him when he came home and yeah he was part of it just not in our town. I asked him what the note was about and he just said it was the general who wanted to make more people join the army and watch a military show. At first I was like wow, sounds interesting but now I am confused about it as why would they want more people when people are joining as crazy this days anyway and if it is just a show why did that not just show the show and not mention you can join. Sorry Niklas it is just a bit confusing for me. I will do my best to support you but you know I hate war and such. I am glad I have you my dear diary as if not I would maybe have a hard time sleeping. The bed is calling my name now.

Good night diary.

Day 47

Dear diary

There is not much to say today as it is just another day with work, cleaning and some news about the meteor. I watched it before I went to bed and yeah I understands why the scientists was worried that it would cause mayhem. Please continue to stay away shooting stars as I am not missing your stupid sound. If they appear again I will start sleeping with music in my ears.

Good night diary.

Day 43

Dear diary

Today was a good day, Niklas had time for me so we was in the park for a walk before leaving it and went to the beach for a swim even the water was so cold. He brought ice cream so my teeth started chatter so much he started warming me up with his own towel, leaving him wet and cold from the water. We quickly entered the car and drive home. We had plans for the evening too but sudden radio news killed the mood on the way home as they told that the scientists has found the reason for all the shooting stars which has been appeared. They said there are a meteor on the way against the earth but we did not have to worry as it will fly right past us but maybe it will give some more shooting stars. They said the reason they made it so important news was because it was the first time at meteor from another solar system would enter ours and fly though it. Normally the meteors we have flying around us are either super small or so far away it does not matter about them but this one is both unique in that plus it would be big enough to notice on the night sky as it grows doing the next 3 weeks. Niklas is calling me and the way he sounds then his mood is for sure back, not sure about mine though as the shooting stars annoys me.

Good night diary.

Day 41

Dear diary

Today was a bit weird day as even it was normal then it was still different. Niklas and I was relaxing after the day’s work and I complained to him about the kids while he talked about the military and just as he mentioned that that the airforce was looking for new pilots, we watched a pair of F-16 fly over our house. I knew he was was in the army not the airforce so did not worry much about them until he mentioned he might join them but when he saw my look in his eyes, he quickly changed and said it was just an idea he got as his squad leader had found him a great match for it but if I did not like it he would stay on the ground. I smiled and replied I would prefer his stayed on the ground but if he really wanted to go flying in the old F-16, he should know he could go if he really wanted if he promised he would take care and call every time he was going flying. He laughed at me and replied he would but he did not have any plans of going beside he would not fly the old shit but some newer plane named FX-1736z which was both faster and more safe for the pilots. I guess I better go to bed so Niklas do not get angry about the light or that his pilot dreams are in here.

Good night diary.

Day 37

Dear diary

Today is my parents 27th wedding day so off course that means my old mom is sad and down while I am more normal even he of course meant a lot to me too. The rock he gave me the day before the crash really means the world to me and I am talking to it almost daily just like I am writing down in this diary. Niklas finds me weird at times when I do that but then I just say that he went to search for a rock too and which then makes him laugh loudly. My father was a good man, he worked as geologist which was how they meet in the first place. He was out looking for rocks that he could study when my mother was out looking for flowers she could sell and by pure luck they was searching the same place. My father knew he had found the treasure when he watched my mom but he was never good with words which was one of the reasons he had become a geologist while my mother loved the nature and wanted to give people a chance to get it inside their houses. She was the speaker of the two and soon they was having milkshakes at the local bar before they really fall in love with each other. I wonder what type of rock he would give her this year as he always found the most beautiful rocks and gave her, I guess he would have found the meteorite before Niklas unless they have decide to go hunting together. I never knew that Niklas liked rocks before he wanted to search for the meteorite but guess you learn something new every day. I spend a hour with my mom on the phone because she needed to talk about father so now I miss you too. She would not come because she was busy in the shop because of a weeding but we still found time to visit your grave. I do not know what happened to you other than that car crash. Live never ends the way you expect it too. Now I will sleep while holding your beautiful rock in my hands.

Good night diary.

Day 31

Dear diary

It is weird to think that not long ago there was shooting stars on every clear evening while now they are just as rare as they was before. By now things are more normal as much they can be when you have a famous husband. I have already been asked by 10 different parents about him now and none of them seemed to care much about me before unless something major had happen for their little child. I hate parents at times, but I love spending time with the kids, I wonder if I get to become a good mother or I will become just as awful as them. Niklas says that I shall close my diary for the night as he cannot sleep because of the light for the lamp but I do not mind so I just left him alone in the bed and went down to the kitchen table to have some warm tea and continue writing. I have coffee with my mom doing my lunch break once more as Niklas was called to the army to talk about the rock but that is life I guess. I cannot be with him all the time even I want to. I wish some of his famous rock find dropped some of the magic on me so I could get some more friends instead of just being the future wife who is asked about him. I love him so I guess I should not care much about it and now I will go to bed so he does not feel like I am annoyed on him.

Good night diary.

Day 29

Dear diary

Today was started like a Saturday any other, Niklas and I had a good day in the park. We had fun eating fresh strawberries and I captured some nice photos of Niklas climbing around like a mad man in the nearby trees. He says it is part of his army training but I am not so sure, I think he was doing it to make me laugh and maybe forget that he was gone for 3 days while he was searching for the stupid rock. Well I cannot say he is stupid now as you might remember for the previous days then he found it before others and he reported the sight to both scientists and the army so now he is pretty famous in our small town. That reminds me I have forgotten to tell where I live, I live in suburb to the town Addersfield which is the the 7th biggest town in Jushuidan, my country. I was so focus on stone and my place in this work I forgot to say that the images I took was a bit weird, like the camera was broken and fixed in the same time as some of the pictures was super great while others was super bad even they should be the same quality. Anyway Niklas is calling for me so we can have hot chocolate and buns for evening snack now that there is no shooting stars to keep us company.

Good night diary.

Day 23

Dear diary

Today was both a good and a bad day. Good, the shooting stars disappeared suddenly early this morning. They have been gone since and that least to the bad. The last shooting star I heard was a massive one so it work me up and before I could even think a single thought in my head, Niklas was already up and getting dressed. I asked him what he was doing and he said that his military training told him that the way the stupid stone had sounded, he knew it would had hit the earth not far from us and he had to go search for it to be one of the first reaching it. I got mad as I had plans for us but he rather wanted to search for the rock so there you have it we had our first argument and we have not even share place for a week. I feel sad for arguing with him but I am telling you instead of him because he has not been home yet but there is still no shooting stars so I am sure it was the last one. I am glad they are gone but why did the last one of them had to land close to us. Anyway I am off to bed as I can finally sleep in peace from those rocks.

Good night diary.

Day 19

Dear diary

Today was a simple day as I did not go work because of day off. I have spending time with my mother and we had coffee. We talked about everything from Niklas and I finally living together and crazy enough she already want us to look for a new place because she does not find it big enough for us and a future child. I told her we had no plans of having kids in attempt to stop the talk but instead she just said that I had not been expected to get married either and look at how it went. I guess she is right even I did not make it seem like when we talked. Btw I have completely forgot to introduce you to my mother, well her name is Viola and she is 57 years old and working in her own flower shop so guess we have no problems getting the flowers for our wedding. She was married to my father all his life and has not married or even looked for a new one since he died in the car crash. I really hope he is in a better place now as he was really the best. Right I forgot to introduce him too. Well his name was Brian and was geologist, he gave me the turquoise stone I talked before. I miss him almost daily but I hope that by Niklas entering my home and life for good then I can be more focused on present as I am sure my father wanted that. Guess that was all for today.

Good night diary.

Day 17

Dear diary

Yes, finally, I am so happy and tired today but today we are two. I am so happy that Niklas is living in the same apartment as me even my landlord was almost changing his mind when he learned that we were not getting married before next year. Good thing my mom could talk some sense into his mind after we arrived with all the packing boxes. My apartment feels like a new place after getting all Niklas’s things inside from his buddha figure taking almost half the window to his old dinning table to he inherited from his old grandma who died a few years back. It was a hell to get inside as I do not have the sight for moving objects though doors but we did it and did not cancel the wedding over it even that my landlord laughed a lot over us. The shooting stars also seem less scary when I am with Niklas, guess I was just scared of dying and leave him alone in this world or the other way around. The scientists still have no clue about why they are here but they are working out from a theory saying that a crash between two big asteroids in the asteroid belt has hit each other and is now giving us shooting stars almost like rain. They are certain we are safe even some of the comets might reach ground.

Good night diary.

Day 13

Dear diary

Today I am so tried after working extra hours yesterday and I do not have the weekend to sleep because of the move which I cannot wait for. We have been together for 5 years now and now we can finally be together all the time. I hope we can manage as I am sure he is the dream guy for me, just do not know how it will be to live with him. Is it normal to feel nervous? I know you cannot answer but do not know who else to ask. If I ask my mom she go nuts because of the wedding, while none of my friends would understand me as they have all been living together with their men for a long time, only me who had issues with the landlord. I guess we cannot all be rich and perfect from a start. Anyway yesterday extra work has taken my energy so will call it a day and write again tomorrow.

Good night diary.

Day 11

Dear diary

I want to live forever like a white fake rose as I am so happy in my life right now. I know I have mentioned the picnic in the days before but it was just so prefect, with the weather sunny and a light breeze which turned the heat into a nice temperature. We share straw berries with chocolate and whipped cream, I hope we can do that again soon as I really has been tried from work lately. I also got an awesome letter, my landlord has decide that since we are getting married we can move in together so next weekend we will back his stuff and move them here. Then we will see what happens if we finds something better but I cannot wait to wake up in bed with Niklas by my side. Maybe all the shootings stars are bring me luck even I am still getting tried of them as people are not talking about others, even my mom who was so crazy about the weeding less than 2 weeks ago. I know there is still long time for the wedding but still I did not expect something could keep her quiet about it before after my wedding. By the way, I have decided that I want to the theme to be under the sea so instead of black suits I will prefer to have blue and my dress needs to be turquoise to fit the rock my father gave me. I also want to have sushi so we have to find a good restaurant as I want the weeding to be perfect. Wow if I did not know better I would think it was thunder but it was just a shooting star who was a bit bigger than the rest, I really hope that those scientist knows if we are in danger or not as it is getting on my nerves. I do not want to go extinct like the dinosaurs on the most happy year of my life. If a big meteor wants to destroy the earth it can wait to the day after my weeding, not a second before. Guess I need to get to my bed to sleep now or the kids will kill me tomorrow.

Good night diary.

Day 7

Dear diary

The numerous shooting stars is in the news now, sorry for starting in such a rush but since I heard it in the radio in the car on the way to home from work I knew I had to write it as I think I noticed around 12 to 15 of them too. It was a nice sight but even the scientists has no idea of where they come from as they are is nothing in the sky and we are not even close to any of our normal events with lots of shooting stars. Ahhh, thank you for arriving rain so my mind can relax as I have been going nuts the last days especially after hearing the news that the scientists. I wonder what is happening up there, Niklas on the other hand is not scared and has spend the last 3 evenings watching the shooting stars from his window and tried to count them all. I could see on his eyes doing our lunch that he had been up more than one night to look at them. Damm the rain was not alone, it has now been joined by lightnings and I pretty sure thunder will join them both soon. I hate that but guess it is better than the shooting stars as then there is a chance that Niklas won’t be so sleepy at our picnic tomorrow. Yeah I forgot to tell you that we are not living together yet as his apartment is not big enough for both of us and my landlord won’t allow me even I feel like I have plenty of room so we are looking for a bigger one for us both unless we well over a house instead. Far away to get away from the noisy town but still close enough for our jobs. Please go away thunder and lightning so I can get a good sleep too. Thanks for the text, love… you know how much I hate it. Even I can sleep long tomorrow I guess I better sleep while I can in the love rain.

Good night diary.