Day 139

Dear diary

Please help me, if I do not get though this please tell my husband Niklas that I love him and that he was going to be a great father. I miss my mother and wish she could be here too but with the tanks shooting. I cannot go anywhere and I only feel safe here in the basement. Finally the noise stopped, am I safe now? I hear people screaming so is that a good sign as I can only see smoke outside. I am writing as fast as I can incase this is my last words then I am glad I got to experience life. Two plans just flew over my house, so close that the smoke disappeared and I can see soldiers entering broken buildings so I am glad to be alive. God, please help me to know what Niklas is doing this moment and why he has not call yet. I see, only dead humans but no sign of the so-called aliens, I am going back to my apartment now and call my mom to hear if she is good. The sign of normal red blood worries me as if only humans fell doing this attack and no aliens is part of the fallen, then it is for sure an uneven war. I wonder who will be the hero who saves us. Will write more if more happens today.

See you soon, diary.

Day 137

Dear diary

Life has returned to normal except that have started eating for two people now but guess that better than no news. My mom still says I should try to forget about Niklas and focus on my life at the moment as the child can feel anything. I guess she is right so I will do that and with the rules about leaving house has been lifted again I am now trying to walk at least 2km after work. The kindergarten is already buzzing about that I am pregnant and the kids are all asking me things I have no clue to answer. The weather on the other hand is bad and it rains a lot but I do not mind as I am smiling and walking around inside with all the kids from kindergarten. Please, pretty please let Niklas call soon as that is the only small sadness in my life and even the news is started to slow down on the news about the aliens so I wonder what is going on in the capital so here is too hoping he is home soon and doesn’t need to protect or save the world anymore. I cannot to hear what he has to say when he learns it, I really hope he is will be as happy I am.

Good night diary.

Day 131

Dear diary

The sickness is still there but at least I know why I am sick now. I am pregnant, I have no idea why I did not just take a test when I started feeling sick but maybe all this craziness of the world this moment has clouded my judgment. I am still home resting as it is still so new for me and for a change my boss wanted me to be at my best before going back to work. I think I can go back to work tomorrow. I have still not heard from Niklas anything but at least the female operator in the other end made a promise that he would be granted permission to call as soon as he returns to base so my dear husband he could learn the great news. Sorry was so focused on telling you that I had not heard from him that I forgot to tell it was my mom’s idea that I should take a test and that I was pregnant. I guess I will sleep so I can dream of the happiness that my child will bring.

Good night diary.

Day 127

Dear diary

Great, just great. Niklas has still not called me back and I have been sick yesterday with lots of puking so nothing major have happen other than being sick. I am never sick so I wonder what is happening to me. I have now puked so much in two days that I have completely lost my appetite, even water which is tasteless makes me want to puke, I am also having headache but at least the reddish lights from the capital has stopped. I am started to wonder how my father would have reacted to all of this as he was the most down to earth man I have ever known. I miss him and Niklas a lot right now as this sickness annoys my life. The clock only says 7.37pm but I will sleep now and hopefully I am fresh tomorrow.

Good night diary.

Day 113

Dear diary

It been 4 days since the mysterious reddish light appeared and I have not heard from Niklas other than the bass is telling us all is good and that I shall stop spamming the phone lines as they need to call other people too. I want to walk to the military bass but the town has been place under laws by the military and we can only go to work or buy food. My mom is doing fine and says that I should stop worrying about Niklas as she is sure he is fine and that the army is just busy taking care of the other towns like ours. I miss him and which he will call me back soon or even better get reassigned to our town so I can see him while he works at least. The reddish light is really annoying my sleep so good thing the light in the evening last longer so I can start falling asleep normally. I am still shocked about the arrivals of the aliens and even that the news goes on and on and on and on about them we still have not yet seen a picture of them but guess I am just too busy at work.

Good night diary.

Day 109

Dear diary

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I am sorry for swearing in this lovely book but I am far from ok, the tv plus all the electric in the town just disappeared after a reddish coloured beam suddenly left the UFO and hit the ground on living TV. I have no power and if you look against the capital you can see the reddish light appearing again and again as the only light in the entire area. Shit things just got even more crazy 5 planes from the airforce just flew above my head. Yes I am outside before you ask any stupid questions. Please just be a dream, I love you Niklas, our town is still whole so please come home alive too. My phone is not working either so have to go to my mom even I am not sure it is a good idea to leave my home. Power is back so things are normal again. I am still going to my mom this instant.

Good night diary.

Day 107

Dear diary

For some reason has Niklas been able to call me every day since the UFO’s arrive, maybe even the leaders of the military can see it is a good idea to keep the military wife’s calm and that way keep the public more calm as people are slowly going nuts over bad sleep and no reaction from the aliens. I do not mind them, they reminds me of the old hippies you learned about in school. I wonder how many of them are smoking some weed this moment. The only problems I have today is that for some reason the phone line to Niklas military installation suddenly stopped working and those annoying shooting stars appeared again, but without sound so at least I can sleep in peace. I guess I will try to sleep now so the shooting stars do not get a chance to annoy me.

Good night diary.

Day 103

Dear diary

Niklas called and told me his side of things today. He had tried to call earlier but the command has closed the phone lines as they had to prepare instead of focusing on their civilians. Niklas say he had watched a lot of movies as kids about aliens attacking the earth but he did not believe them to be evil in real life. Thanks to him, I am now worried about us as I have never seen any alien movie but the tv is not showing anything else other that movies or news. The aliens has still not landed or show any signs of life but the airforce has been flying around the UFO like ants on an ant-hill. I overheard the tv mention the scientist who was the one who had discovered that the comet was not a comet but an advanced from transportation of the aliens. The rock has placed itself between the moon and the earth so it was super easy to spot now while the UFO was only a small part of the big object. Scientist around the world was now trying to be the first to pick up the radio-waves from the ship or should I say ships as in my craziness I forgot to mention than since they arrived at our capital 2 days ago, UFO’s has appeared near other capitals, from Tokyo, to Beijing, and even as far away as Berlin. I am having hard time sleeping but the parents who brings their kids to the kindergarten looks even worse so I keep forcing myself to work even I want to stay home just in case that Niklas calls.

Good night diary.

Day 101

Dear diary

I am far from calm now, so if my words do not makes any sense at all then all the questions about the universe has just been answered. The special news on tv just told that aliens has arrived in the capital less than 100km’s from here so I guess happiness and sadness is like ying and yang as Niklas was order back to military already yesterday without any reason so we missed an evening together and today aliens. I am so shocked about I do not know what to do or think. I am a woman who believe in God, and my point is not that I expected us to be alone in the universe but I did not expect us to get visit from some planet in my life time. I do not know what to think or say anymore, I am so chocked and never believed that my life would change so much in 100 days since I started writing this diary. My boss called me afterwards to tell me that aliens or not I am still going work tomorrow beside they have not landed yet. I wonder if he is just as confused as me as who in their right mind can continue their normal life after this.

Good night diary.

Day 97

Dear diary

Today Nicklas suddenly stood in the door with all his army clothes including gun and told me that he had a few days off because the leaders of the army wanted him fresh Monday. I called my boss right away and took Friday off so we could have all the time possible together. Nothing and I mean nothing will keep me away from him the next days. I am so happy he surprised me that way as I had no clue about it. My heart is still beating like a machine gun being fired, not complaining at all and guess I am going to put my diary away for the next days unless something major happens. See you Monday diary.

Good night diary.

Day 89

Dear diary

Today Niklas called, he could not tell much other than he is trying to get permission to call me more often but he says it is hard to find time for sleep, training and me on the same time as they are pushed though a lot of training. I tried to keep my voice down but it is hard to be alone at home and only talk to your mother some days, while his famous rock search is no longer making people talk fondly about us. Do he understand how hard it is for me to be called a bad wife, when my husband is never there and there is already rumours about what has happen as no one believes he is training with the army as no of the other soldiers has been called for the training but I believe in my husband when he says he is out training with the other soldiers as why would he lie to me. He was the one wanted to move in after my landlord allowed it and he was the one asked me to marry him in a year, I was just the happy girl in all that. I am tried of being a military wife when all people talk bad about us plus the feeling of missing him when he does not call is so hard too. Anyway I want to try sleep now as for some reason I have to open up the kindergarten tomorrow even I am normally one of those who close it.

Good night diary.

Day 83

Dear diary

Forget all the happiness talk I did the last days as today I am missing Niklas so much that even being with my mom all afternoon has not made my mood better. We even had Sushi from my favourite sushi place and I am still seating here crying because he has not call for 4 days. What the beep is wrong with my body. Guess I will start counting down to his home instead of our wedding. It is already late now and I do not know if I want to sleep or keep writing this dairy. I really hope that I can keep this one a secret for the world as I do not want to share so many details about my life. I want to remove all the bad things happening and only keep the good thing. What do you think, my dear almost 3 month old diary? I have no clue about why people even write this thing in the first place. Anyway you can sleep outside tonight will you are thinking about my question.

Good night diary.

Day 79

Dear diary

Thank you dear god, I think you heard my prayer doing church today as Niklas called and without going into details he talked about training more than just saying it is hard like before. He says he has not been showering for days while the general is talking about giving him, his own group of men to lead as the general feels like he can lead them. I agree with the general as I believe that too. I can feel it while he was home and the way he asked me to marry him was not just a question but an order between the kind words. I felt my heart was his so I did not care about the order in his words and I still do not. Anyway I asked him if he was going flying in stupid planes and without a single second as break he replied no because he wanted to lead the group of men instead, my mind is now more at easy so even we are not together now then I do not mind he is in the army anymore. Not sure if it is the wine or me who is writing this crap, I am sure I will be more pissed once he has not called me for a week again or something like that. Anyway the comet the scientist talked about is really getting big on the sky and I am glad to know that it is not going to hit us or I would be demanding Niklas home this instant so we could spend the last days and hours together. Another Monday is about to start so I guess I need to sleep now.

Good night diary.

Day 73

Dear diary

I miss Niklas a lot now but I guess I just have to work hard just like every other wife who has a husband in the military. I love Niklas a lot and I really hope he knows that as even I know he just training then I am worried like those wife’s who has husbands who fly for the airforce. I want to stop worrying about him but it is hard when you do not know anything about his training. He did talk about some plane when the f-16 flew over our place some time ago and he have not mentioned anything about not flying so maybe he is flying without telling me. Anyway I need to work like I normally do as those kids are not stupid and if I keep acting strange to them they will start talking about me to the other teachers and we cannot have that. Tomorrow I will be normal again and work hard being the best teacher there is for those kids. I love my job, my husband, my country so please god, do not change my life right now other than bringing home Niklas soon.

Good night diary.

Day 71

Dear diary

5th day and life is turned upside down as finally has Niklas called me again, he did not have much time but he told me that he loves me and that the training is harder than expected. I think he told me to make me laugh off him and the crazy generals plans. I missed him taking half of the bed so what can I say, I think it worked. I laughed like a maniac but he knows I do that so he was not surprise. I also miss being able to talk to him doing dinner, speaking of dinner I have still not learned to make dinner for one instead of two, guess learning habits is easy but returning to the old ones is harder. I thought it was the other way around. I called my mother right after we finished talking so now my mother is coming over for coffee tomorrow. I have been so nervous about Niklas and his training that I have been focused on work and tv. It is going to be nice talking to her tomorrow. It is only 9pm now but my eyes are heavy after days without the best sleep.

Good night diary.

Day 67

Dear diary

Sorry I have been so focused on Niklas going to the army for 6 months training and all the problems it has created. Well yesterday Niklas left as planned and now I am alone in the apartment, good thing I still have my mother I can is it from time to time. I do not know how to feel anymore as things quickly changes before we know it and I guess I need to learn that the army is Niklas work while I am working in the kindergarten. We are very different but still so good together which was why I feel in love with him 5 years ago in college. I was the nerdy girl and he was one of the lower footballer, he did not always play the matches but he was good enough for the team. I still remember the day we kissed the first time under the stadium seats. At that moment I knew that I wanted to spend my life with him. We missed prom as he was suddenly drafted to the army after his college years but I still knew that we was going to be together so even I was alone between the other students and people who was supposed to be my friends I did not care. He started earning money as part of the military job he got and I started to work at a kindergarten because it would make it easier for us to meet at times. It was a good time back then and now I just have 10 months left before I will get married with him so cannot wait to live with him forever and nothing can take him away from me. My eyes want to cry now so guess I need to sleep so I can get up for work tomorrow as it is already past midnight. He promised he would call me when he got the chance.

Good night diary.

Day 61

Dear diary

Niklas and I is better again but today Niklas got a call and even he did not want to go the general told him that he need to start his training next Monday. I am still a bit annoyed about the training but it sounds like the general has decide and not Niklas. I do not want him out of our home before we are friends again and I just realised that I was wrong in our argument as I thought that Niklas just used the general as an excuse to leave for training when he knew how much I hate the military but it was really his general who has decide to train them all. I wonder why they cannot come home doing the period. Anyway I will have some fun with Niklas now instead of being angry with him so no more diary today.

Good night diary.

Day 59

Dear diary

Niklas and I have now live together for almost 2 months and have been playing to get married in the same amount. Today we had our second argument, I am not angry at him but I am angry at the general and the rest of the goddam army. Sorry for my choice of words. Niklas told me, that the general has said that all military people has to go to the camp for 6 months training and he will maybe not get permission to come home doing that period. I am so annoyed that my mind is going crazy. After the 6 months there is around 4 months left to our weeding and we need to get all the things ready. I know 4 months is a long time but still what if he get hurt doing training so we have to go to hospital and stay there for longer periods. I know we have only planned the day but the church is very busy doing the time of the year so I am worried I cannot get a new date. I told him I wanted him here and then he can always go on training when he is back from our honey moon. We became so mad at each other that I am sleeping alone while he is out with some of his friends. I am sorry for making a mess Niklas, I just want you whole and alive for our wedding day. Anyway will try to sleep now and guess this is one of the reasons Monday is a bad day.

Good night diary.

Day 53

Dear diary

Today when I was out shopping I noticed a military truck appear and to jumped the soldiers. Each of them had a piece of paper in their hands and they ran to the nearest post and hang up the paper before running back to the truck again. I did not get to see if Niklas was part of the group so I asked him when he came home and yeah he was part of it just not in our town. I asked him what the note was about and he just said it was the general who wanted to make more people join the army and watch a military show. At first I was like wow, sounds interesting but now I am confused about it as why would they want more people when people are joining as crazy this days anyway and if it is just a show why did that not just show the show and not mention you can join. Sorry Niklas it is just a bit confusing for me. I will do my best to support you but you know I hate war and such. I am glad I have you my dear diary as if not I would maybe have a hard time sleeping. The bed is calling my name now.

Good night diary.

Day 47

Dear diary

There is not much to say today as it is just another day with work, cleaning and some news about the meteor. I watched it before I went to bed and yeah I understands why the scientists was worried that it would cause mayhem. Please continue to stay away shooting stars as I am not missing your stupid sound. If they appear again I will start sleeping with music in my ears.

Good night diary.